Sticks and stones may break my bones, and names can hurt me too.Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you.
Ephesians 4:29-32
You've heard it said that sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.
Just as those sticks and stones thrown at us can bruise and injure the body, harsh words and names hurled at us can break hearts and destroy relationships. I speak from experience as well as scripturally. I'm sure many of you can also speak from experience. Being direct is one thing, but when it drives people away, we need to access our "directness", or "honesty" as some may call it.
Many are not willing to tell you when you are offensive. They don't want to become the latest victim of the offender's sharp tongue. Words laced in grace accomplish more.
Do you talk more than you listen? Do you impatiently wait for another to stop talking so you can give your opinion? These have a higher probability of indiscreet speech. We may be guilty of tearing down instead of building up, if these exist. If we are angry or dissatisfied, we may communicate insensitive words. Oh how wise it is if we ask a trusted friend if the way we speak helpful or harmful.
If you are led by the Holy Spirit to correct someone in this area, please remember to place a caring arm around a friend's shoulder before you confront him or her with specific concerns. Like Jesus, look redemption in the conversation. Follow the Holy Spirit’s lead in leading others to understand their need to change. Don't get in the way of the work of the Spirit working in their heart though. Prayerfully wait to bring up sensitive matters when their heart is most open to truth.
Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, Sweetness to the soul and health to the bones.
Proverbs 16:24
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